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No More of the Same Old Song Called “If Only”


I used to live by the motto, “if only”…. If only I had more money. If only I had the perfect job. If only I had the perfect relationship. If only I had done this. If only I hadn’t done that. If only I said that. If only I hadn’t said that… If only, if only, if only…. I was putting my life on hold because of “if only”. I was procrastinating on all aspects of my life because I was blaming it on “if only”.


I was comparing myself to others – the young beautiful models, the actresses, the successful business women, friends with successful marriages and relationships… I felt like I was living my life on the outside looking in to everyone else’s life. The image I held of myself and my self worth was never good enough when I compared myself to other women. “If only….”


I can’t say where there was one major cause that changed my life for the better, but I went through an accumulation of some fairly bad events – finding myself broke and homeless was one. With the good graces of some friends, I wasn’t living on the streets, but it could have been a possibility.


Because I felt like I didn’t “measure up” to my comparisons to other women, I went through much heartache in relationships after my divorce because I was choosing men who were emotionally unavailable. I felt like I wasn’t good enough for that perfect relationship and it was safe choosing men who couldn’t get close enough to see my flaws. I worked in an uninspiring job that barely made ends meet because it was steady and secure and because I didn’t believe in myself enough to expand my horizons and step out of my comfort zone.


You see, when you begin to believe certain things about yourself, the universe gives you just that – what you are believing and thinking! I felt totally alone and thought every aspect of my life that I thought was important was in the gutter – love, family, friends, money and health. Events in my life were spinning out of control in ways that were not desirable.


These bad events didn’t begin to change for me until, from the steering of a friend, I took a class on forgiveness and realized that I am responsible for my own actions and the things that had transpired in my life. I moved on and forgave those who may have hurt me and I forgave myself after realizing the role “I” had played that contributed to those “hurts”.


From then on, my life began to change. I slowly stopped comparing myself to others and began to realize my own self worth. I began to take responsibility for my actions and threw out of my vocabulary the words, “if only”. I was introduced to a beautiful, loving, absolutely, fabulous woman -- me!


I read some wonderful books on realizing my own self worth and read the book and watched the movie, “The Secret”.  I began to learn about the law of attraction and how the universe gives you, each and every time, exactly what you are thinking and feeling.


From beginning to learn how to visualize the life I wanted to live and beginning to feel I was already living that life, I started to take inspired action. I quit a boring 9-5 job to begin utilizing my talents as an interior designer. Even as a young child, I had always dreamed of getting into commercial interior design and I could envision myself decorating public spaces where many people could appreciate and find enjoyment through my visions.


Through a design consultant position I held, I was asked to start up a new commercial design division and be a project manager for commercial flooring. What an opportunity I thought! I was about to realize my dream job! And I did realize some of those dreams. I had opportunities to decorate commercial offices and my ultimate dream, a hotel!


I was able to finally purchase a home on my own. How proud I was and happy being able to decorate and refurbish my own dream home! Life was good, BUT…. The money I was making in my dream job was decent, BUT it was commissioned based and I found myself worrying each month if the commissions would come through and how I was going to pay the bills.


I felt like I needed a different dream job with a steady income and wanted to expand my horizons in the project management field. By chance, a friend invited me to look at a commercial project that was almost completed and he knew I would enjoy seeing the interior design of the place. When I was there, I asked him if his company was hiring. He said no, but would keep his eyes and ears open for me should he learn of a position that could benefit from my talents.


The very next day a company that was working on the same commercial project asked him if he knew of anyone who would meet their criteria of what they were looking for in a project manager. He responded, “As a matter of fact, I do.” I sent my resume to my friend and he forwarded it on. They called me a week later and interviewed me over the phone.


Several months after the initial phone interview, I didn’t hear from them and thought that it was a “done deal” and they probably hired someone else; however, they ended up calling me and asked me to fly to Las Vegas for an interview. Four days later I was on a plane to Las Vegas, had the interview and they hired me on the spot. I ended up selling my house without having to list it with a realtor and I was on my way to Las Vegas for a steady paying job as a project manager. The road was quite simply paved for the move. Talk about expanding my horizons!


I love living in Las Vegas and thought that finally, I have a dream job with a steady income rolling in. I was nearly debt free and was enjoying the financial freedom.  Well, because of the economy, after 10 ½ months at my dream job, I found myself laid off.


The old feelings of inadequacy, and low self worth came rushing back to me. I felt totally alone and what the heck was I going to do? I started the “if only” song again:  “if only I didn’t send in my resume”; “if only I didn’t move to Las Vegas”; “if only, if only, if only….”!


I remember that weekend after getting laid off, in a quiet panic and feelings of loneliness, I turned to the Internet to find some type of words of encouragement and to stop the negative feelings from taking over. A while ago, I had joined a social network that was launched from “The Secret”. I logged in and wrote a “SOS” in the forum. To my surprise and amazement the amount of encouraging words and love that came pouring through to me was astounding! It helped me get through a very rough night and from all of that love that came pouring out to me through the Internet, a chord of inspiration was struck. I didn’t want other women to feel alone in whatever they may be going through. I wanted to open my arms with heartfelt intentions to help women know that whatever it is, whatever they need, that no matter what, they are all absolutely fabulous women and the strength will come from within to see them through.


That very weekend, this website: Absolutely Fabulous Women was born. I am both humbled and pleased by the amount of email I receive daily from women from all parts of the world of how one thing or another they read on the website had helped them get through their day.


What a blessing it had been for getting laid off from that “dream” job! In retrospect, I was living at a level of stress in that job to the point where it was beginning to affect my health and take over my life. Deep down inside, I believe I manifested the lay off. No more singing the “if only” song, but perhaps a new song called “why not?”.


These days, I am being creative by writing for the website and receiving and acting upon inspiring ideas. In fact I am now writing a book. Also out of my own “Vibrational Thoughts”, I took action on another revelation that has gained instant success: “Cabana Talk With Abfabwomen”! I have had the tremendous opportunities to talk with some very inspirational people, motivators, authors and celebrities and this is just the beginning of where I will be taking “Cabana Talk”!


 I am not living my dream “job”, but my dream “life”! I am living in gratitude for the many blessings in my life. I live in awe and excitement of what each day will bring. I live in high vibrational sync with the universe and receive confirmations daily through nature that I am on the right track. Mere words cannot describe or express the feelings of abundance I have, but suffice it to say I am happy, healthy and thriving with that beautiful vibration of being a woman – an Absolutely Fabulous Woman!

With all my love, gratitude and warm wishes to you for an Absolutely Fabulous life of everything you have ever wished for and dreamed of! Remember, as always, it's only up to you!

All the best,

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