Note Worthy Musings With Brenda Stanton Archives - Are You a Good Girl

Are You A Good Girl?

Oftentimes there is a big disconnect, a major gap actually, that exists between what your heart deeply desires for your life and your work and what your head tells you that you’re capable and worthy of.

The truth is it’s one thing to say what you want and it’s another thing to believe with every cell of your being that you’re worthy of receiving it.

As I’ve said before, I am not a band-aid coach, I get to the root of what holds women back and most often, it’s something that’s totally unconscious. It usually sounds like this: I don’t know what it is, I just can’t do it. I know what I want, I can see it, I journal around it, write ideas in a notebook, visualize it - but I can’t grasp it and I don’t know why!

What is this hold back?

The truth is, the women I work with are beautiful, heart-based, giving women - who have big roles to play in this world. They are women who know they’re here for something big yet oftentimes the daily existence of being such an amazing caregiver makes it hard for them to receive what they want and deserve. They give, give, give to their families, to their businesses/clients, their partner, the household  and end-up not giving much of anything back to themselves.

What happens is usually the feeling of: What about me and my dreams? When is it my turn? Sound familiar?

Being a caretaker, a giving soul, a person who wants to help others and be of service - is a beautiful thing  and it’s a worthy thing  but it’s not beautiful or worthy when it’s costing you a life  and a high quality, authentic life at that.

For example, I see women who get into a business with the intention to help others  and as a result end up giving all their time, energy and soul to their clients  but don’t give anything to themselves in terms of charging what they’re worth and setting clear boundaries to ensure they have the appropriate energy to be their best selves.

By putting others before you - and your needs, you will NOT Claim Your Worth™- and you’ll continue to stay on the treadmill of helping everyone else claim theirs, while you feel resentful and drained.

If you can relate with the good girl complex, which is wanting to be liked and needed so badly, then you most likely grew up in an environment where you had to take care of others - including yourself at a very young age.

You also most likely received various messages about being a good girl and not to ruffle feathers, stay quiet, dress this way, have these friends, don’t speak-up, don’t get too big for your britches because others won’t like you.

In a nutshell: Do what everyone else is doing and DONT YOU DARE SHINE  or else there will be consequences.

Here’s the deal: You can’t live a truly authentic, beautiful, balanced, abundant, successful life if you’re taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own. You also cant step out into your full-power and create the life you want if you’re too worried what others will think and if they’ll like you.

And most importantly, if you have deep heart desires that are creative and beautiful and artistic and personal - but you’re worried about being criticized for showing those gifts - or doing it the right way then we - you and us  the people who want to see you express those gifts and applaud you for it, lose out. And the critics win. And that’s no fun.

Here’s a question to ponder: Who would you rather see win? The people who will applaud and appreciate your gifts, or the people who will be jealous of them?

I hope I know your answer. Claim Your Worth™ and the rest will fall into place. This doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy to let others down, to say no, but do those things you must, otherwise another year will go by and you, and us, will be missing out. Choose wisely!