Being Proud of Myself

Martha Beck, “Right now, say it out loud: 'I’m proud of myself.’ The rush of strength and expansiveness that comes from declaring this honestly is the antidote to paralysis and the beginning of wonderful adventures, and each time you choose that, instead of shame, you really should be proud.” How often do you tell others how proud you are of them? Have you ever said it to yourself? Can you say this out loud, “I am proud of myself!” A few weeks ago it was suggested that you appraise your self esteem as if it was a dip stick in your emotional engine. What level is your self esteem today? Imagine for a moment that you are proud of yourself; what would that feel like, would you do anything differently?

Most of our self-talk is about what we should or could have done, said or been. We’re ashamed of not getting things done when we think we should. We’re ashamed of not having the money to pay our bills. We’re ashamed of not being in the right job, the right relationship, the right body. We can even feel ashamed that we don’t seem to be using our spiritual principles in ways that are more beneficial for our lives. Shame is a great paralyzer, we can become immobilized by what we think about ourselves. Truth is – we are always doing the best we can. That part of us that immobilizes us is probably only 10 % of who we really are and yet we let it run our lives. Is it time to let the shame go and claim the other 90% of who we are in all our beauty?

Nature’s way is to be perfectly imperfect. Pick any maple tree and in the midst of their beauty you will find their flaw. We as human beings are no different, we are also perfectly imperfect. We are given the gift of bodies and our time on earth to learn. We have to make mistakes or we'll never learn. The Navajos always leave a small flaw in their blankets and rugs because they know they are not perfect. When we embrace our mistakes, they make the best stories to share with family and friends. We can take chances when we let go of the desire to be perfect. Those chances we take inspire great stories that further the passion of our dreams.

For weeks I stumbled and choked, until I surrendered and allowed myself to say out loud, “I am proud of myself”. No big chasm opened up and swallowed me whole, nor did I fall off a cliff. Instead I felt more solid and real than I have in a long time. I never imagined that I would celebrate by declaring: “I am proud of myself!” Though I had just created a successful public event, the feeling of pride came more from how I put together the event than the event itself.

This week’s exercise is to practice saying “I’m so proud of myself!” Stand in front of a mirror and say “I am proud of myself”. Walk around your house muttering to yourself “I am proud of myself”. Do you feel a rush of strength and expansiveness that comes from declaring this? Imagine all thoughts of littleness, and believing that you are not enough are released. Realize that you are more than enough because you are part of the great mystery of oneness that we all share. Once you have practiced being proud of yourself, check your self-esteem dipstick and “Write Up” what you feel. Do you now feel conscious pride in the adventure of your life!

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