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Words have
creative—almost prophetic—power. I was reminded again this past week of
just how true that is in a couple of significantly different situations.
The first
involved a dog toy. That’s right, a dog toy. As those who know me
are aware, I am a dog lover. We have three of them and I can’t resist
buying a great dog toy when I see one. Recently I bought a multi-colored,
hard rubber toy I call the “knot ball” because it looks like a knot of
multi-colored rubber bands.
My little
dog Snowflake is notorious for taking toys and hiding or burying them so when
it comes time to play, there isn’t a toy to be found. Such was the case
last week when I went searching for the knot ball. I searched high and
low, inside and out, unconsciously repeating to myself “I can’t find that
ball!” “She’s lost the knot ball.” On and on it went for a couple
of days as I searched under beds, behind couches and even outside, checking all
of her favorite hiding places. Still no ball.
Saturday
morning it dawned on me that I had been “affirming” with my self-talk that the
ball was lost and I couldn’t find it. So on a wild whim (you know where
this is going!) I decided to change what I was saying to myself about the
ball. Instead of “it’s lost” and “I can’t find it” I simply
said to myself, “I will easily locate the knot ball” or something to
that effect. I kid you not, voila! In an instant I looked down and
there it was, in a place I had already searched, in a room I’m in 10 times a
day!! My words had become prophecy…first affirming that I couldn’t find
the ball, then affirming that I easily located it. In both cases, true.
Now you
might be saying, “Okay Betty, but I’m not looking for a dog toy, I’m looking
for a job!” (Or something else much more important in the grander scheme of
things). But the principle is that your words and what you’re saying to
yourself about the situation are either affirming the limitation (and creating
more of it), or affirming the goal you are seeking to achieve and moving you
toward it.
The other
situation involved someone I was talking with (prospective client) about her
struggle to “renovate her life.” We talked about the various steps she
might take to begin moving toward what she wanted and how even something as
seemingly insignificant as clearing out her junk drawer could be the very thing
she needed to do to start getting her life unstuck. Her words (again
prophetic) spoke volumes about how she was keeping herself stuck. She
said, “I don’t really feel motivated to do it because it’s just me.”
“Just me….just me…just me?”
I pointed
out how that belief that “it’s just me” as if “me” is so insignificant I
don’t really count, might possibly have something to do with where she was
stuck. She had quite literally put herself, her life, her sense of value
on the discount clearance table and even she didn’t consider herself valuable
enough to buy! How would another person, including a prospective
employer, friend, mate, partner, possibly view her more highly than she was
viewing herself?
Wise men
and women through the ages have preached this sermon: Words are creative and powerful; be careful or at least conscious of how
you use them!
This week I
invite you to recognize the prophetic power of your words, and realize that we can use them to
either create or destroy, so it behooves us to use them wisely. I invite
you to consider eliminating the following words and phrases from your
vocabulary and begin replacing them with their positive opposites in 2010.
Change…
“I am”
or “I’m not”
followed by any limiting description, to “I am” followed by a
description of the goal or vision you’re creating.
Example: “I’m fat” or “I’m not talented
enough” to “I am happy and energetic at my ideal weight” or “I
have the talent and ability to do whatever I put my mind to!”
“I
can’t”
to “I can” or “I do”…
“I
should” to “I choose to” or “I want to”….
“I
never”
to “I now”…
“I’ll
try” to “I’ll do what I can.”
“Yes
but”,
followed by an excuse or explanation to “Yes, and” followed by the
vision you have or the new behavior you’re establishing.
“I
always” to “Up until now and…” describing the new situation you’re
creating.
We’ve all
done it. We’ve used words carelessly, thoughtlessly, unconsciously to
imprison ourselves and others. We repeat negative mantras so often we
come to believe they are true. We label others as this or that and then
look for evidence to support the label. As we move into the final week of
January 2010 I challenge you to wake up and recognize the creative power of
your words to either build or tear down the life you envision for yourself in
this still new year.
Make
this week a masterpiece!