Metaphysical Matchmaker Archives - Crush on Coworker

I Have A Crush On A Coworker, What’s The Harm?

A large number of people do meet and date through work. After all, we spend at least eight hours a day with people we are paid to be with in a place that we often daydream about leaving. I have heard that more people die on Monday mornings than any other time. You often hear people exclaiming “TGIF!”  (Thank God it’s Friday). Five O’clock and especially five o’clock on Fridays are often employee’s favorite time of the day. So, if you are not fortunate enough to own your own business or be utterly passionate about going to the office, a little excitement and diversion can be extremely attractive.

That hot guy who works down the hall or in the next cubicle, or your manager at the restaurant you work at suddenly catches your eye, you start flirting, then go out after work for a drink with the gang, that turns into drinks alone after work, and then… well, you get the picture. Work becomes more exciting, and you no longer dread going in, but actually get excited deciding what to wear each day. And all of that is just dandy until it all goes terribly wrong. Now some of you reading this are currently either seeing someone happily or have done so with no repercussions. And thank your lucky stars, because it is all too easy to go the other way. If things don’t work out between you, things can get very uncomfortable. Then, you will be watching that clock again for quitting time! Or even worse, you could lose your job.

When I was in my early twenties, I was a hostess in a restaurant in West Hollywood, I starting dating the manager, Richard. We moved in together. I worked there for 3 1/2 years and really liked it. When we split up, he fired me. I was already devastated and completely stressed out over the break-up and having to find a new place to live, but then I found myself with no job either. Dating him also caused problems with other employees. Richard was extremely jealous. I became friends with one of the waitresses, Nathalie. She was French. I was learning French and very happy to be included in her circle of French friends. Sometimes she would invite me to a party or to hang out with her group. Richard had no interest in going to these parties with me, so I would go without him. Well Richard was convinced that Nathalie was introducing me to French guys, so he threatened to fire both of us. I was distraught because not only was that not true, but why should she be fired because I was dating a lunatic? Because she was from France it was not going to be easy to find another job as her papers were expiring. I felt that I had to tell her what Richard’s threats were and of course she panicked, was completely stressed and out and our friendship was on the line. The whole thing was a horrible mess. (Nathalie moved back to France the next year and I am happy to say that we are still the best of friends over twenty years later).

The problem with dating at work is that you are bringing powerful feelings and emotions to a place that should be your safe haven from everything emotional. So, my opinion on dating where you work is simply, DON’T.