Monday Morning Coach Archives - Dealing With Overwhelm

Dealing With Overwhelm

If you’ve talked to a single other human being in the last week it’s likely you’ve had a conversation that included an exchange of how overwhelmed you/they are.  It’s pandemic!  We are living in a world where it seems, if you’re not on overwhelm, you must be lying in a hospital somewhere on life support.  I’m right in there with you.  In fact several times in the last week I found myself running the “internal overwhelm” tape.  You know the one that goes something like this:

 “I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t know where to begin.  Just look at this desk, office, my life.  How can I ever get anything done when I keep getting interrupted or they keep adding to my to-do list.  This is just impossible.  No human can live like this!  What am I going to do?  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

You probably have a similar monologue.  And if you’re not sure, just stop for a moment to listen to the story your mind is telling you about how busy you are!

So this week, I offer a provocative proposition:  What if the whole “overwhelm story” is a lie? What if there really is no overwhelm?  What if it’s simply that we have things to do, and life is about doing things—some we’ll love and be passionate about; some that just have to be done (taxes come to mind); some on a short deadline, others we can take our time with. 

And what if, instead of listing everything that's on your to-do list for the next week, 10 days or month you simply started showing up with the intention of doing what you can for this day, minus the on-going internal commentary.  What if? As the song says, “you may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one…I hope someday you’ll join us….”

In his international best-selling books author and teacher Eckhart Tolle talks a lot about the noise machine in our heads and how it creates problems, when in fact, life is simply a series of situations we are faced with and need to handle.  The more we embrace what shows up, do what we can and quiet the internal chatter box, the more joyfully we move through life, even when circumstances are troublesome. 

It isn’t that some situations aren’t challenging or problematic, but instead of talking to ourselves, reinforcing our feelings of overwhelm, thus adding to the feeling of helplessness and distress, we can instead simply try dealing with them.  Sure it’s great to do them with as much grace, lightness and humor as possible. 

But the most important key to overcoming overwhelm is to focus on the present and choose what emotional state we’d rather be feeling than overwhelm.  I don’t know about you but I don’t particularly enjoy the sick-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach feeling that focusing on overwhelm creates!  And when we focus on the present, dealing with what is rather than what’s out there somewhere, sometime, someday we actually have more mental and physical faculties at our disposal.

Here’s an illustration from sports:  On any given day, any athlete or sports team has the opportunity to play “out of their heads” and defeat even the best teams or players in the sport.  They do it by practice and dedication off the playing field, showing up on game day and going for it one play, one ball, one shot at a time.  Yes they have a game plan, but they are present to each play and each opportunity as it presents itself.  If you’ve ever watched a team (or individual athlete) play flawlessly, this is how they did it. 

On the other hand, if a team or individual shows up for the game, filled with anxiety and internal chatter about how unmatched they are, how the other team likely has a better game plan, better players and home-field advantage, all of that internal blabber turns into external reality pretty fast.  They aren’t defeated as much by the greatness of the other team as they are by the game they’ve already surrendered in their heads.

So this week, decide to play the game of work or life one play at a time.  Have a game plan.  Map out your day; schedule in time to do the important but not urgent priorities on your list, set boundaries, do what you can.  Focus on the task at hand.  But don’t waste a single minute of today’s precious “goal-den” hours talking about how overwhelmed you are, how much you have to do, how you’ll never get it done, piling on details from a future that hasn't arrived yet.

As in all games there are two “contests” going on simultaneously: The one that is actually happening right here, right now; and, the one that is happening in your head.  When you align the one in your head with the one you’re playing right now, suddenly the thought of overwhelm is simply absurd.  You get to choose which game to play.  I know which one I’ll choose—just for today.

This week, I invite you to let go of the overwhelm game.  Stop living in and complaining about the future.  Start instead to embrace what is yours to do now.  Do so with a full and complete presence to the power of what you’re doing.  Yes, it’s a mental discipline.  Yes, it’s about focus.  Yes, there may still be 101 things on your “to do” list, but none is more important than being present to the task you’re working on now, to the game you’re playing this moment.

Tired of dealing with overwhelm?  Then decide today to stop writing the overwhelm script in your head.  By the way, my desk is still a mess.  And you know what?  I’ve got higher priorities to deal with right now.  What about you?

Have a powerfully present week!