Note Worthy Musings Archives - Driven by Unmet Needs

Driven By Unmet Needs

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” ~ Ovid

Have you ever ‘tried’ to relax? Or had someone say to you: Relax already!

Trying to relax is like trying to stop a moving train. It’s like trying to meditate – your mind takes over, and you feel like a failure and you give up.

Yet, when you become aware of the real reasons you have a hard time relaxing to begin with, then everything shifts and it begins to make sense as to why you do the things you do vs. trying to change your actions without this awareness.

Let’s take a point on your journey where you may be right now. Maybe you’re working in a corporate environment and are tired, burnt-out and exhausted searching for more meaning, peace, and balance in your life.

Or maybe, you’re working for yourself and you’re burnt-out either because you’re in the wrong business, or you’re trying to grow your business while still maintaining some-type of fulfilled life.

Regardless of your point on the path – the common denominator is a need for inner peace – a need to relax – a need to breath in the moments, cherish them, and to appreciate all that you have – while still getting things done, and accomplishing what you need to accomplish.

But, no matter how hard you try – you just can’t seem to balance the two.

Can you relate?

Well if so, you’re not alone. It’s common to feel this way – and there is a solution.

The solution is looking deeper into what is really going on underneath the surface – digging down to what un-met need you’re looking to get fed.

Let’s imagine you’re craving inner peace but you have a fierce drive to do and achieve. Could you contemplate that you may have some unmet “Being Needed” or “Acceptance” needs that you’re trying to get met through sourcing your value and Sense of Self/Identity through your work and what you can accomplish?

Or if you say you want more adventure, fun, and light-heartiness in your life, yet you can’t seem to relax when you do get extra time in your calendar – and you make to-do lists for your free time - could you consider that you’re looking to get your unmet need for safety/security filled through your doing and being productive and that’s why you have a hard time relaxing?

These scenarios may – or may not – resonate with you – but if you have a hard time relaxing and enjoying some down time, without guilt, then there is usually an unmet need that is winning-out before all else.

Yet, this isn’t a time to have a shame attack or beat up on yourself. It’s actually a time to give yourself a tremendous amount of credit – and a tremendous amount of compassion – because if you can face what is driving you and see if your adrenaline and need to ‘do’ is being driven by an unmet need, then you’ll truly be free!

You’ll be free because you’ll then be aware of the unmet need and figure out how to get it met.