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Elements of Courage

White Eagle: “When you are in doubt, be still and wait. When doubt no longer exists for you, then go forward with courage. So long as mists envelop you, be still; be still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists—as it surely will. Then, act with courage.”

What does acting with courage mean to you? What are the elements (within you) that combine to make you feel courageous? When you feel like you are drowning in doubt, anxiety, or ghosts (from) of the past, and yet you face your fears anyway, do you call that courage? Is it courageous to set an intention, bump up against limiting beliefs, and be willing to expand past those beliefs? Is it courageous to want to create change for your life and others? What do you need to feel courageous? In order to be brave do you need friends who hold the same beliefs you do? Are there passions roiling within you that just won’t stop nagging at you until you do something about those passions? Are you willing to step out with courage today?

Our world needs that bravery. Now. When we feel pressure to conform to social norms we are given a choice to fit into a box or act (up)on what we feel is right. Only one person with determination and conviction is necessary to make a difference. Two or more can change the world. Simple changes often require the greatest courage and at the same time create the most profound change. For those of us who live in suburbia, what do we do when local codes say we cannot hang out the wash, or schools demand we drive our own children to school rather than car-pool? How do we fit puzzle pieces of worrying about our planet while adhering to rules and codes that forbid ecologically sensible behavior? For those of us who live in cities and watch violence against women rise as lines of statistics in the media; what can we do? Such laws, and negligence scream out for civil disobedience. As Thoreau reminds us, “…Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine.” Go ahead and hang out the wash! Or you can take back the night, and set up an escort service where no woman has to walk alone.

When there are two or more women gathered together we can do anything. We can call on our women friends to be there to help us through either triumphs or challenges when we cannot or ought not do something alone. When we are laughing and smiling we want to share our joy, when the tears can’t help but come anyway, we want our friends there also. We want our girlfriends there whether we are grieving a loved-one, watching our last child go off to college, planning on going back to college ourselves, or just making it through our daily chores. Our sisters are chosen through love or experience and given to us at birth. They watch our backs and love us as we learn to love ourselves. Knowing our women friends are there does make us braver. We can face difficult choices with less anxiety. When we know that our girlfriends are there it’s easier to follow our passions to make a difference in the world.  

I count on my women friends for love, for laughter, for encouragement to keep writing, for strength to face health or financial challenges and continue on. They are there when I am ill, when my car breaks down, and when I need recovery. They give me courage to thoroughly be myself and courage to step out of the boxes I may find myself trapped in. I am blessed to always have a few close friends that I cannot imagine living without. Then there are the many friends I can call on for guidance about this project or that emotional pattern. There are friends who have died and left me with a sharp grief to endure, all because I still miss them so much. And then there are many acquaintances I call friends who love me while I am learning to better love myself. And beyond that there are absolutely fabulous women I don’t know yet, or who I admire from a distance. Sometimes there is a strong web of interconnection among friends. More often my friends are individual bright lights on my journey. I am grateful for all of them. Thank you.

For this week’s exercise there are two steps. The first is to watch this video, and remember your girlfriends. Why are they your friends? What makes them stand out as your friends? What are their special qualities? The 2^nd part of the exercise is to write down their particular genius you admire, for what you see in them is a mirror of what is inside you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q

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Copyright August 2010, Mari Selby