Happy Absolutely Fabulous Women

I just read an article in the Las Vegas Review Journal stating that women’s happiness is plummeting. This article is referring to several major studies made over the past forty years that show women’s overall level of happiness has dropped and that men are getting happier. A blog written by Marcus Buckingham, a former Gallup researcher and author, states that the studies indicate that women begin life more satisfied, but as women age, become less happy.

On Marcus Buckingham’s blog page there are a ton of comments and speculations on why women are unhappy and men are getting happier as they age. In fact there are now 43 pages of comments as I write and this blog is only six days old. Before I could finish this post today, and because of all the comments and talk, Marcus Buckingham has posted another follow-up blog on these studies.

It appears that there are not any concrete reasons why this is happening according to the study, but reading through the comments, it seems the general consensus is there is lack of time for self, trying to fight the aging process, hormones and women set too high of expectations on themselves, society, jobs, family, their communities and the world.

There is indication that women have more choices, which causes more stress. Women have outnumbered men in the workforce and there are now more female managers and supervisors than male. The article states that women are harder on themselves than men and people are obsessed with youthful looks and beauty more so than ever. It indicates that men age in more of an attractive way (so it’s perceived), while women fight the battle of aging by undergoing cosmetic surgery and other means to be more attractive to men and society.

With this said and the evidence of thirty years of surveys and studies, do you feel increasingly unhappy? If you do, obviously you are not alone. We as women can go out and make the bacon, bring it home and fry it up in the pan while at the same time helping junior with his homework and in our minds, solving a conflict at the workplace. Is this why? Are we stretching ourselves to the point of self-sacrifice? Are we buying into society’s viewpoint of the way women should look at a certain age? Are you just “going with the flow” and settling?

Granted a survey is a survey and it doesn’t pertain to all women as we do not know the different factors and considerations of the women that the study was based on. There are times when we feel happier than other times. In general, however, what if the survey has hit on something that we as women need to change for ourselves?

You may have heard all of the following self-help guidelines before, but maybe it’s time we take another look at how we should treat and honor ourselves on a daily basis. So let’s begin:

• When we wake up each day, why not make the choice to be happy for this very day? There are times when even thinking about being happy can be difficult and you may just not feel it, but how about choosing to be happy anyway? No one else can make you BE happy. YOU are responsible for your own happiness.

• When you wake up each day, why not give gratitude and thanks for the many blessings in your life? It is hard to feel unhappiness when you are having feelings of total gratitude. When being thankful for your blessings also be sure to appreciate the beautiful and awesome woman you are.

• We as women do have high standards and expectations and want to try to make things better for our loved ones, our jobs, our society and the world. We want to try to fix things to make everything all better. We feel stretched to the max if we can’t make things better the way we think we should for all things and all people. How about changing this mindset and know that you are only one person and each and every day you truly do give it your best and be satisfied with your accomplishments of the day?

• Each day, even if it’s a minimal amount of time, take some time to do what you enjoy doing. Find out what you can do to help yourself unwind from the many stresses of the day and just do it. Have some fun and laugh.

• Take care of yourself each and every day by eating healthy foods, taking vitamins and exercising. If hormones are wrecking havoc, find natural or medical means to take care of it. Nobody else will take care of you but yourself.

• As far as aging, it is natural fact of live. Enjoy and revel in the mature woman you are becoming and by taking care of yourself, aging will gracefully reflect your beauty. While cosmetic surgery has wonderful solutions for women or men for that matter, try not to get so caught up into trying to look like you are 30 when you really are 65. Yes, men do have it easier in the aging process and society does reflect this. I honestly don’t believe men become more attractive as they age, but they really don’t put that much thought into how they are aging. Man’s mindset and their image of themselves reflect more of a youthful spirit and they are not trying to perfect what nature has given them. The majority of man’s self-esteem and self-image is much grander than our own self-esteem and self-image as women. Yes, we are harder on ourselves, as is society. Try not to buy into all of this as we, as women, are truly beautiful species. Try not to compare yourself to other women as your comparisons only reflect what you see on the outside and not what is on the inside.

• Each day, try not to personalize moments of discourse or adversity that may come your way. Try to roll with the punches, so to speak, and grow a thicker skin. It’s wonderful as women to be in touch with our emotions, just try not to personalize things or let it dictate how your day will unfold.

• As far as multi-tasking and doing it all, has life taken over and the time has flown by to the point you have given up on your dreams? Have those dreams been put on the backburner so many times and for so long you have forgotten what they are? Really do try to figure out your heart’s desire and take inspired action to move forward again with your dreams.

• Regarding a romantic relationship, have you settled for what is because it is too difficult to change the situation? Are you afraid of what would happen if you do make waves or just don’t want to be alone? Try to figure out what is right for you and take action to either improve or mend the relationship or make steps to moving on if the relationship is unhealthy for you.

• Are you procrastinating on certain projects or things that really do need to get done? If you don’t have the time to do them yourself, figure out how and who can help you get those things done. Yes, ask for help!

• Has life’s disappointments gotten you down whether it was because of your action/inaction, choices of others including your children or other circumstances? Try not to let your past disappointments dictate you or your life as it is today. You have no control of the choices of others.  The past is gone, you cannot change it. Stop dwelling on “what if”.

With all of this said, it truly does boil down to taking the time for yourself, making a choice to be happy, feeling gratitude for your blessings, being satisfied with your daily accomplishments and knowing and believing that you are an awesome woman. Believe in YOU every single day. Appreciate YOU every single day. It is only up to YOU and no one else to make each day an absolutely fabulous day! We are all happy Absolutely Fabulous Women because we make it so! Smile and enjoy your life!