I Feel Pretty

I had an opportunity this weekend to see the musical, “West Side Story”.  A very popular song composed by Leonard Bernstein came of this musical, among others called, “I Feel Pretty”. It is such a fun, happy type of song, but the words struck a chord in me. As the character, Maria sang in the song, she felt “pretty” and can accomplish anything because she was loved by a boy.

Why couldn’t Maria feel pretty and can accomplish anything without basing her identity on having a boy love her?  The original production of this Broadway play was in 1957. That dateline and timing of the musical started me to think about “learned” ideas and behaviors as well as the thought process behind the lyrics.

The 1950’s brought to us “Ozzie and Harriet”, “Father Knows Best” and “I Love Lucy”, only marital twin beds were allowed on the television shows and the women’s only identity was that of a housewife who catered to their husbands. The husband was the breadwinner of the family and upon arriving home; the wife had dinner on the table, a cocktail waiting, the house immaculate and the children bathed and ready for bed. The wives were expected to conduct themselves in a certain manner. The women “felt pretty” and loved because they based their identity by conducting themselves in the accepted manner of a housewife.

Last week I shared with you a little about me in “My Every Story” and how in the past I had compared myself to others. Since I had grown up in the mid 50’s (yikes), I also had brought with me some learned ideas, thoughts and behaviors that stayed with me over the years that maybe I didn’t “feel pretty” or could accomplish anything without being “loved by a boy”.

Do you have any learned behaviors or thoughts that you have carried with you over the years? Learned behaviors are a component of our culture and upbringing. For that we cannot lay blame to anything. However, we can change our thoughts and become the magnificent women we are meant to be.

We can change our wired thoughts by beginning to stop comparing ourselves and seeking our identity through others, but to know that yes, we are pretty and beautiful. We can accomplish much and go beyond our wildest dreams because we are capable and brilliant. We don’t need to be loved by a boy to feel pretty. Yes, it is amazing and wonderful to have romantic love in our lives, but that love truly doesn’t identify who we are.

It is only up to ourselves to make ourselves happy, to feel beautiful (and pretty) both on the inside and out and to know that whatever our hopes and dreams are, we CAN accomplish them because we know that we can.

I feel pretty and know that I can accomplish anything I set my sights on because I AM and I CAN just as YOU are and can!

So, if that fun song “I Feel Pretty” were written now, I think the lyrics would say something a little different. Maria maybe would sing, “I feel pretty because I AM!”