Metaphysical Matchmaker With Marla Martenson

Marla Martenson
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Marla Martenson is a bestselling author of: “Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate Is Waiting; “Good Date, Bad Date” and her newest release, “Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker”. Marla will be sharing her weekly posts with Abfabwomen on her insights on navigating through the world of dating and the Law of Attraction.

Am I Giving Too Much Too Soon?


Giving too much too soon is a huge relationship mistake made by both men and women. At first, doing too much seems natural and fun. Aren’t you supposed to do lots of special things for your new love? Aren’t you supposed to go over the top to show just how much you care and how special and thoughtful you are? NO! At least, not until your relationship reaches a certain point. Before that point, you risk suffocating your partner just as love is starting to blossom. It must happen naturally.

Too much commitment too soon shows desperation. If a person is ready to forsake all others without even being asked, hoping that will somehow bond him or her to the other person, it does just the opposite. Unless you have discussed your relationship and have both decided to be in an exclusive relationship, never tell him that he is the only one in your life. You want to seem busy and in demand. I know this might seem like game playing, but it is human nature to want something that is not available or a challenge to get. Also, don’t give him too much information about yourself right away. Tell him about yourself a little bit at a time. Don’t be an open book. If your partner hears about things that you have done or accomplishments you have made through the grapevine, it will certainly peak his interest and he’ll want to know more. Keep a bit of mystery about yourself.

Giving gifts can really make a man uncomfortable. A man once told me, “The minute a woman starts giving me gifts, I feel pressured. She appears like a needy woman who is trying to buy love.” Put off gift-giving as long as possible. Show him that you care in other ways. For example, make him a lovely dinner, give him a ride when his car is in the shop, or offer to pick up his mail when he is out of town. And if his birthday comes around early on in the relationship, make it something with little monetary value. Don’t try to impress him with how much you have spent. Instead, impress him with your creativity. I know a gal who doesn’t make much money and she wanted to get her guy something special. She went on-line and found a type of amusement park that has go-carts to race and lots of fun stuff that her guy was into. An all-day pass was only twenty bucks, so she printed out the ad from the place and made a cute card with the ad in it, letting him know that she was going to take him there for the day.

You can give your all when you have both made a mutual commitment. But even then, you will be wise to keep a bit of mystery to yourself as well. You will remain interesting and alluring to your mate.

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