Wearing A Red Dress with Blue Shoes

Eleanor Roosevelt, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along…You must do the thing you cannot do.” Even though we are absolutely fabulous women inevitably thorough self-acceptance is one of the hardest and scariest things we face. Often we determine that if we were more physically, spiritually, emotionally, or financially fit we would be fine. Being truly happy with both who we are and how we are in the world is a challenge. Our secret fears keep us from really living our passions and respecting our lives. What does it mean to you to just be yourself? Can you wear your red dress with your blue shoes and not care what people think of you? Take a chance, what will you face today that you thought you could not do?

Some of us have a terminal case of “uniqueness”. At our core we feel different than and separate. Feeling different is painful. Fears spin around our mind of what would happen if we did things differently than everyone else. Our fears tell us that sooner or later we will be shunned or ridiculed. Even though our hearts and souls may tell us that we are all one, we react to life in our own unique way. Wearing exactly what we want, talking the way we want, and listening to the music we like are simple steps towards thoroughly accepting who we are in this body, in this life. Imagine what it would feel like to be different and not worry about other people’s opinions. Further imagine that if they want to judge us, that’s their burden not ours. Imagine how acting as if we are okay, no matter how different we feel, might enhance our lives. Imagine feeling more self compassion while reminding others of their humanity also.

Much too often in my life I have felt like I am not good enough, then it’s easy to let opinions of me shape my emotional reality. I realize now that life is too beautiful to not see myself as part of that beauty. I am learning to accept all of myself, beauty, blemishes, character defects, and assets. As I accept myself more I feel more confident of my own worth and am able to project that confidence as I walk through life. Now I know that people I magnetize to me are mirrors of how I feel about who I am; the good, the bad and the delicious. My choice is to choose the people that nurture me and help me grow. I am always watching for those people who dare to wear their red dress with their blue shoes, or different colored socks on each foot. These are the people who are saying “I can do the thing I thought I could not do.”

This week’s exercise has two parts. The first part is actively practicing the belief that you can do anything you want to feel more free. What would you do if you did not let people make the decision of what’s right or wrong for you? What have you longed to do, get a tattoo, perm your hair or shave your head, or just get a bicycle to ride around the park? You are worthy of doing something exciting just because. The second part of the exercise is chronicling the adventure to reflect upon how and why you did what you did. Write Up your experience. Hopefully you will learn from this exercise that you don't need to be something you're not, and that you can stop struggling with who you really are.

Comments and feedback are appreciated.  You can find me on Facebook, or Twitter @selbyink