Sowing Love and Compassion

"Change is hard," we say, and it is even harder when we feel that change is thrust upon us. Although my life continues to get better, I see friends losing their jobs, homes, and feeling shattered as a result. What changes have been thrust on you lately? Have you felt forced to reinvent your career, downsize your life, or pick up the pieces of your dreams? Is your first reaction to uncontrollable change, to rail against fate? Or perhaps you feel annoyed with well-meaning friends who say, “One door closes, and another one opens”. What if their offering of acceptance and optimism works? Acceptance is the first step in seeing past today's turmoil and spot the opportunities that lie within unsolicited change. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to approve of these changes, just that you are willing to accept what you cannot change. Once you truly accept your new situation, seeds of self-compassion begin to sprout.

For most of my life I felt like a victim of life’s circumstances, my parent’s dysfunction, or employers who didn’t see things my way. I frequently reacted angrily to the change I felt thrust upon me. When the publisher I worked for as marketing director fired me, I refused to accept his decision and pulled out my bag of tricks to try and change his mind. (Fired anyway, that door closed and happily another opened, I began my own publicity company.) At that time I often blamed someone else for my choices, being a victim was easier than accepting that my life felt stuck, or was not what I wanted. When I began to take responsibility for my choices I became willing to change, and I no longer felt so crazy. And as Einstein said, “Insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results”.

Today when unsolicited change occurs I choose to exercise love and compassion more often than fear or anger. I use the power of choice filled with compassion in my every action, spoken word, thought and decision. Love and compassion are the fertile soil in my garden of peace; I welcome them into my heart and model them in my home. I have found that love and compassion heal and empower as well as help mend what is broken in my world. With love and compassion in my heart I attract more opportunities for my business as well as feeling loved for who I am. With each act of acceptance, and compassion I change my life, raise my awareness and become open to new possibilities.  

Smiles are a simple way of demonstrating love and compassion. A smile can touch a person's life in ways you can never imagine; it's infectious and can cause a chain reaction. A smile can be memorable to someone you pass on the street, or in the mall or even driving. It only takes a split second to smile (and forget), yet to someone that needed it, it can last a lifetime. This week’s exercise is to practice love and compassion as a smile. Take a walk around your neighborhood, or the local mall and smile at the people you see, there is magic in smiling for “no particular reason”. After taking your walk, write about your experience. What seeds of love and compassion did you sow? What inspires you now; to make new friends, create a new job, or write more?

June 2009, Mari Selby

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