Monday Morning Coach Archives - Three Gifts

Three Gifts

If I could give you three gifts that truly have the power to transform the results you create, the joy you experience and the possibilities you generate in this New Year, would you be interested?  If you’ve read this far, I’m guessing you would be.  These gifts of course are not new or news to you.  But it is helpful to revisit them, “unwrap” them with new eyes while this year is still young.  Here they are:

• The gift of Reframing
• The gift of Resilience
• The gift of Resourcefulness

You’ll find them conveniently related, and that as you use one it may naturally lead you to use the other two.  But they are also powerful “stand-alones.”

Reframing

Reframing is the practice of seeing a situation or experience, past or present in a new light.  None of us can change the past.  None of us can predict what happens to us in the future.  But we can all reframe and learn to reinterpret and grow from what happens. 

Think of an experience that you had initially judged as bad that turned out to be good.  Last year I went through some pretty nasty health issues at the beginning of the year.  And while I wouldn’t want to repeat them, I have reframed them and now consider them gifts that empowered me to make healthy changes in everything from my attitude to my lifestyle. 

Have you experienced a job loss?  How can you reframe it to see the gifts it has brought you?  How about a financial crisis?  Reframe it.  After the shock of 9-11 wore off, many people chose to reframe their response from horror and “how could this happen?” to “how do I want to live my life differently as a result of this ‘wake-up’ call?”

Reframing can transform you from victim to victor in the game of life.

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to rebound, bounce back, and grow from adversity.  In basketball when the opposing team grabs a shot that your team puts up, it’s called a rebound.  Rebounds often make the difference in a game because they give you more opportunities to drive the ball down court and take a shot.  It’s the same in life.  The more we proactively reach up and grab hold of what is happening the more opportunities we have to make the shot.  Resilience is all about turning adversities into opportunities.

Research into optimism has shown that resilience is something we can learn.  Look at a baby learning to walk:  They fall down.  They get back up.  They drop something.  They reach for it until they finally pick it up and put it in their mouth! J

There is a Chinese saying:  “Fall down seven times.  Get up eight.” That doesn’t mean you keep repeating the same mistakes (see reframing).  It does mean you ask yourself each time you fall down, “What can I do differently this time?”  “What went right with my effort, even though the outcome wasn’t what I hoped for?”

That which we label failure always contains in it the seeds of success.  But unless you make the conscious choice to transform the obstacle into an opportunity, you may not reap the rewards. 

Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness is the ability to draw on your own and others’ resources, strengths, talents and connections. Resourcefulness is essential to moving forward, crafting and executing plans, looking for even small openings or opportunities.  By practicing reframing and resilience you’re in a much better position to use the gift of resourcefulness.

Being resourceful means looking inside and asking yourself questions like:

• What strengths do I have that I’m underutilizing?
• What might I learn that would help me move beyond this situation or circumstance?
• Who do I know that has been down the path before me that I could turn to for counsel or advice?
• If I was already 100% confident, what would I be doing right now?
• What would the successful person/people I admire be doing in this situation?
• If I could take one small step in the direction of my dream or goal, what would it be?

Often as I work with coaching clients (and of course myself!) I find them locked in the “I don’t know” and “I can’t do that!” habits, both of which block them from tapping their own resourcefulness.  We all possess strengths we underuse.  We get caught up in the “doom loop” as one writer calls it, of predicting our own failures or proclaiming and arguing for our limitations.

Resourcefulness is the gift of being able to stand in your situation, look beyond it and take action.  When you combine it with reframing and resilience, well the sky’s the limit!

I hope as we are now three weeks into 2010 that you have lost none of your optimism.  I hope that you are just as committed on Jan. 18 to having your best year yet as you were on Jan. 1.  I hope that the three gifts I share with you today become well-worn tools in your “success tool-kit.”  And I hope that you already have some positive results to show for your actions this year.

If not, take heart.  This week, take the gifts of reframing, resilience and resourcefulness and begin building the life, career and achievements you dream of in 2010 and beyond!!

To your continued success!