The "Volunteer Victim" Affliction

There is no one who would argue that we are living in somewhat challenging times. The economy has yet to turn around, although economists tell us it's showing hopeful signs. There are still lots of people unemployed, underemployed, losing their homes and a whole host of other unenviable conditions and situations. There has never been a shortage of gloom and doom, and right now there seems to be an abundance of it.

BUT as I've been going through the ups and downs right along with everyone else, I've noticed that there are those who seem to be doing well in spite of it, being resourceful, doing what's necessary to stay afloat. And there are those who have succumbed to the "volunteer victim" affliction, who are spending more time complaining about what's happening than doing what they can to move forward.

There will always be stuff happening around us and to us we don't like and didn't ask for. And yet there are some distinctive characteristics of those who refuse to become life's victims. We can all learn from them.

I read an article in this Sunday's local newspaper that illustrates the difference between someone who sees himself as a victor and one who sees himself as a victim of unfortunate circumstances.

Scott Frost, president of a successful Las Vegas business and founder of an organization called Technology Business Alliance of Nevada, was paralyzed just a few weeks ago in a motorcycle accident. He came home from the hospital less than two weeks ago and yet is busy doing what he can with what he has available now. He is, of course, spending several hours a day in physical therapy to do what he can to regain use and mobility of his arms and legs. He is also spending time on other projects, including a foundation he started to inform spinal-injury sufferers of options for rehabilitation. And he is still passionately involved in his business. The article describes how Frost informed his business partner the day after his accident to keep doing everything they had planned, and as a result they have recently closed a number of important business deals. "No matter what obstacle is presented to you, there is a workaround other than throwing in the towel," he says.

Compare that to the person who feels life/the economy/an ex-spouse/a business/a boss/a whatever has "done him or her wrong." Volunteer victims often engage in a constant litany of complaining, blaming, justifying, victim-y conversations, none of which alters their situation, except to make them feel worse and attract more of the same.

There is a saying that life is not what happens to us, it's what we do with what happens that counts. Helen Keller turned her multiple disabilities into a life that inspired millions. Christopher Reeve did more to serve the world after his life-altering spinal cord injury than he did as an actor before the injury. There will be those who find the opportunity hidden in our current economic environment and start businesses that go on to thrive and serve humanity. There will be those who face other kinds of adversities and setbacks that will make the choice to stand victorious, to do what they can with what they have now and choose their greatness over their fear, doubt, second-thoughts or remorse. And the world will be better for it.

Take a look this week at what is happening in your life or business. Have you inadvertently stepped into the "volunteer victim" line? Have you spent so much time longing over the door that closed that you've failed to notice the one that might be opening? Are you licking the wound of some past experience and allowing it to color, limit and block you from the possibilities available to you now?

Remember, being a victim is a mindset not a set of circumstances. Don't let one more minute, hour, day, week, month or year pass by "waiting for the world to change." Decide today that "you may not be able to do everything but you can do something." Do not fail to do what you can do because you're so immersed in the worry about what you can't do.

Start now. Make a short list of 3-5 things you can and will do starting today that will shift you into a powerful, productive resourceful place. And then start taking action to do them. Make the phone call. Brush up your resume. Schedule the meeting. Follow-up with the prospect. Go to the exercise class. Take time for the friend. Connect with the most positive person you know. Write the overdue "thank you" note. Bring something positive "to the party"!

And remember the words of this anonymous poet: "Two men look out through the bars. One sees the mud. The other sees the stars." It's all in your perspective. I hope you choose to keep looking up.

Have a victorious week!