Introducing Mari Selby:

Mari Selby is the Director of Selby Ink,  a publicity and marketing firm that promotes authors who make a difference. She is a published poet and author and is currently working on several books. 

Read More About
Mari Selby...

To Read Previous "Write to Empower" Posts, Go Here...

Shoes

People say clothes make the man. We all know that shoes make the woman. Say it with me now, Shoes! We love them, we hate them, we certainly cannot live without them. We even look at each other’s feet to determine our relative value. Each of us in our own way worships the power of the shoe, new shoes mean new beginnings, before the pinching of the perfect shoe, before the realization comes that they don’t quite match that perfect outfit, don’t we feel anything is possible? We feel unvanquished, unassailable, and definitely powerful.

Tell me you know what I mean, by saying with me Shoes!

Our feet have taken on the burden of fitting in, of being sexy, of acting successful, of defining who we are. When we our budgets say choose between eating and new shoes, we may long for a beautiful shoe, an ideal, just out of our reach. We blame our shoes for not fitting right, for not matching, for not fulfilling the promise of that new beginning. Instead of fighting with a pair of shoes maybe we could embrace a few messages like, these boots were made for walking, or walk a mile in another woman’s shoes, or Just Do It! 

Tell me you know what I mean, by saying with me Shoes!

I was 5 years old when I became aware of the power of the heel. When my little feet slid around inside my Mother’s black shiny heels I felt powerful! When she saw me in them, she yelled at me, and quickly grabbed them back. I never knew whether she was sure what she was afraid of, would I wreck her sex appeal? I see stilettos make men salivate, stop in their tracks. While my “come fuck me” shoes may not be yours, I know that flats make me comfortable, asexual, and mistakenly dismissed by men as of no consequence.

Tell me you know what I mean by saying with me Shoes!

When did I learn to satisfy creative urges by correctly accessorizing, finding my identity

in what shoe matches which outfit? As a teen my father told me being smart was a good thing, I would be a good accessory, make any husband proud. Maybe wear shoes that made me tall enough to reach his shoulder, while carrying on intelligent conversation. In exchange I would be taken care of in the style I was “accustomed to”. I never knew what he meant. My life has never been like a matching shoe, an accessory to any man.

Tell me you know what I mean by saying with me Shoes!

Imagine wearing a pair of shoes because they make your feet feel happy, or your legs hurt less? Imagine there being no agony over whether the shoe looks good, with pants or a dress. Imagine no worries over whether you look sexy or hot in this shoe or that. Imagine walking in the world in a whole new way head up high, not looking at your feet. Today my feet are bouncing around in high tech shoes that mimic proud Masai warriors, giving me extra power in my walk. Now I know that anything is possible with the “right” new shoes.

Tell me you know what I mean, by saying with me Shoes!

There is a story behind this prose piece. A few years ago, I was invited to read my poetry at a local writer’s event, and wanted to write something current. Physically I was in a great deal of pain, and having a hard time walking. At that time one of my cervical discs in my spine was pressing on the spinal cord. I wanted to get out of my own head, so I accepted the invitation.  Often when I feel especially challenged I am determined to channel that trial into a creative outlet. When I can transform my pain into something light-hearted I remember the important things in life; love and laughter.  And when I can laugh at myself without bitterness or judgment, I call that true self-love.   

This week’s exercise has two parts: First pay a visit to your closet and look at your shoes. What stories do they have to tell? What image were you trying to capture by purchasing any one of them? Do you have any shoes that are ghosts of images past? Do you have shoes that have never fit because one day your prince may come, and you just know those shoes will fit then? Do you purchase your shoes for yourself, or for your mother, or lover? Do you have shoes that just shout “I love myself!” The 2^nd part of the exercise is to write down one of those stories. Which pair will you write about, the leather boots, the hiking shoes, the pumps, or the working flats? Develop them as a character in your life story without censoring the story. Once you finish the story more will be revealed, meanwhile give yourself permission to write on about your shoes.

Comments/Feedback? You can find me on Facebook, Twitter @selbyink, or www.selbyink.com

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt